Hungry for More

Longing to Understand

I remember the moment my journey to understand the Quran truly began. It was during Ramadan, watching the Islam Channel broadcast Taraweeh prayers live. I sat quietly, listening to the imam recite the Quran, and I saw people in the congregation overcome with emotion—tears streaming down their faces.

At that time, there were no subtitles like there are now. I couldn’t understand a single word. I remember my mum softly saying, “That’s such a powerful verse,” and I felt a deep sadness settle in my heart. I didn’t know what was being said. I didn’t know why they were crying. It felt like I was witnessing something beautiful and profound… but standing outside of it, unable to enter. I felt like I was missing out on something sacred.

The imam’s voice floated through the room, deep and steady, echoing words I didn’t understand. In the background, the familiar sounds of Amma preparing Iftar, the quiet rumble of my empty stomach, and the stillness of waiting made me feel both calm and aching inside — hungry for more than food.

A Dream Took Root

From that moment, a dream took root in my heart. I imagined the day I would stand in prayer in Mecca, listening to the Quran being recited, and finding myself in floods of tears — not just hearing the words, but understanding them… feeling them… absorbing them with every part of my being. That became my dream. And it still is.

I’ve never visited Mecca, but I pray that one day I will. I imagine the sound of the Quran echoing in the Grand Mosque, the unity of worshippers, and the serene, sacred energy that makes my heart ache with longing. I don’t want to simply arrive and leave. I want to go and be changed — deeply, spiritually — to feel connected to my faith, its history, its beauty, and its living culture in a way I never have before.

The Journey Continues

Since that night, learning Arabic has no longer just been something I do — it became part of who I am. Every small breakthrough still fills me with the same awe I felt as a child watching those prayers.

The journey is still ongoing, but it feels like I’m slowly stepping into the world I once observed from the outside. And I want to share it all — the struggles, the small victories, and the lessons — with you.